In case of Armageddon, break glass and release the Teo!

Last week, I spent the day at the Electronics Entertainment Expo, or otherwise known as E3. Though I’ve not been up to date with the latest news about video games, consoles, and the like, I still try to keep myself informed of all the cool stuff that comes by. This was also the first time I’ve gone to a major convention-type event in a long time, and while I do miss hanging out with some of my geeky and nerdy friends in such an environment, I’m a little surprised at just how much most of the people here embody the geeky/nerdy stereotype. Fortunately, it wasn’t overly crowded and the hygiene levels were at accepted levels.

Here I was, across the street from the Los Angeles Convention Center, where E3 was waiting for me…

Here was the staging area for Activision just seconds before its new Call of Duty promo.

When I first seen this display, it looked much like a Terminator licensed product, but closer inspection and flash photography revealed army green bots, instead of the metallic sheen of the classic T-800 model.

And though you can’t seen it from this angle, this chick really did have a big gun.

I love a girl in uniform, particularly if she has her friend with her and a big tank backing her up. And yes, the brunette was at least a full head taller than I am, hence why she was kneeling down right next to me.

Though this photo does no justice to it, here was the Capcom area, with a large video screen and a bunch of consoles with upcoming games. One of the biggest things that I had anticipated was a first look on the new Street Fighter X Tekken game. Yes, Ryu and Kazuka go head to head in this upcoming crossover game!

And while we’re talking about Street Fighter X Tekken, here’s a shot of me getting my ass pwned while playing the new game.

I really hate clowns. I really do.

Now here’s one clown that I can get used to! Don’t judge me!

Awh! Kawaii!

Unfortunately, when I try to do it, it just doesn’t look the same. And the Cooking Mama knows it.

Here’s a video screen of the game End of Nations…

…as well as a couple cosplaying booth babes for the company’s products…

…and a candid shot of me with said cosplaying beauties.

Yes, that’s a real girl in the picture with me. And yes, she’s way taller than I am. Plus, if you turn your gun sideways, it makes the bullet go faster.

Here’s a promo of a game whose main character seems to be a cute emo girl.

Yeah, she got me to be a little emo, too.

And for all you Harvest Moon fans, this is a shot of a new 3D game. Then I found out it was not a 3D image, but an actual cart with stuffed animals. That explains why I couldn’t find any controllers around it.

Another game from Natsume (the company that made Gabrielle’s Ghostly Groove and Harvest Moon), this one is called Rune Factory. I wasn’t able to get much information on it, but I liked the big giant plush monster.

I couldn’t help but flex in front of it like a body builder. ARRGG! Feel the burn!

Though I’m not necessarily a big fan (maybe because I haven’t played anything from the series), here’s a big marquee promoting Gears of War 3.

Next, I decided to try out the Glee Karaoke Revolution (presumingly riding on the show of the same name). I don’t think I did very well. The Glee cheerleaders concur.

Here are a couple booth babes for the EA Sports’ upcoming SSX, a winter sports game. Though I didn’t see much winter or sports, it did feel kinda warm between the two ladies.

This small exhibit was the “Into The Pixel” exhibition, which is a selected collection of “The Art of the Video Game.” I didn’t have time to get a shot of everything but the two pieces I like were “Dead Walking” from the Orcs Must Die! game, and “Oktonok Cay Cannery” from the upcoming Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One game.

“Dead Walking”
Artists: Chris Moffitt, Brad Crow, Nathan Stefan, Bart Tiongson
From the game Orcs Must Die! (from Robot Entertainment)

“Oktonok Cay Cannery”
Artist: David Guertin
From the game Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One (from Insomniac Games)

Speaking of Ratchet & Clank, here’s a photo of me standing by the intrepid hero himself.

“I have the POOOOWEEEER!!!”

I haven’t played the game yet, but its booth did seem pretty cool.

I did want check out what Riot Games had for E3, since I have been playing a lot of their free PvP game League of Legends…

…but I think their booth was closed and only for those with appointment. Oh well.

Hey, it’s good to be the king!

Near the end of my day, I was able to grab a pic of myself with a few lovely booth girls. I like how I had to look at their chests in order to read the “Pew Pew” on their shirts.

And with that, I close this pictorial of my visit to E3 2001.

































What are you looking at?

I have been hearing everyone claiming that 2011 is his or her year. Well, they can have it. I’m making no claims to any year now or otherwise. The only claim that I will make is that I will continue to kick ass this year, as I did before.

That said, there is one last project that I have completed from 2010. It was a Christmas gift to my uncle for the family’s gift exchange. In the end, I’m split in my opinion of it. I think I did well to capture the moment of this image with graphite on paper. However, I was also in pain from a thrown out back as I was finishing it up, so the art might look a bit rushed. In any case, I did finish last year strong, even as I was limping and gimping along the way. And I plan to start this year the same. Just without the limping and gimping, though.

A year ago, I had high hopes for the coming year. After some soul searching, I thought that I would be able to find the pieces to be able to put my life back together again. I would be able to find a new job, start a new career, develop some new relationships, strengthen old ones, become stronger and healthier, control my asthma, find my creative streak, and very possibly find some happiness again.

A year later, I find myself hardly any better than I was before. In fact, outside of a few successes, I’m probably slightly worse off than I was before. Still no job and still no money. I’ve had my heart broken, and lost a number of “friends” in the process. My debts are still unpaid and racking up interest. Over two grand was spent on medical expenses alone just to keep me breathing every day, and that still hasn’t been resolved. I’ve done more crying this year than I have in the past three years combined. And the last week and a half of the year was spent in pain because I threw out my back again.

I’ve had a few successes in this year, despite everything else. I had my first art show this past year, where I displayed three of my works along side other artists whom I’ve also recently met. I even sold one of the pieces. I guess you can say I’m now pro as an artist. I’ve met some new people, to help make up for the loss of losing other people I had counted as friends. I even decided to take a drawing class, just to help me get out of the funk of where I was. I even ended the year with one more art piece done and another personally designed Christmas card sent out to family and friends.

But still, in the end, I still don’t feel good about it all. It doesn’t help when I didn’t have much to feel good about anything I’ve done. Of course, this is all subjective. I KNOW that I’ve been kicking ass all this year as I have before, but I just don’t believe it. I’ve felt like a failure for stagnating where I have been, while I see others progressing and moving on from where they were before. I try to give it my all at times, but sometimes it ends in futility, and sometimes it goes unnoticed. Even though I have completed a few creative projects this year, I still feel unaccomplished because some projects took much longer than I thought they would, or because some projects are still unfinished. Even when some people compliment on whatever artwork I’ve been working on, I would just stare at the canvas, and use all the self-control I can muster to avoid punching through my artwork, ripping up the paper, and throwing the easel across the room.

I’ve had my heart broken this past year. After a few years since my last relationship, I decide to take a risk to love. And love I did. However, I also lost. And when I needed help getting over it, the people I thought who could help me just blew me off, insinuating that I should just brush it off and move on, as though nothing happened. Well, something happened. And I couldn’t brush it off. And my feelings were real, and I couldn’t ignore them either, even though everyone else would.

My grandfather, my Lolo, also died this past year. Though I’ve come to terms over the death myself, I’m still pissed off how very few of my “friends” actually came out to help me out. Sure, I’m a tough guy, and I don’t let emotional breakdowns cripple me for long, but damn! I lost the closest thing I had to a father figure, but not a damn peep from the people that I’ve spent most of my time with over the past year. So fuck them. I wasted too much time on people who didn’t give a damn, rather than on people who really mattered. I can understand forgetting a birthday or two, but to forget about me altogether when I didn’t want to be forgotten… well, I’ve had better years than this.

But despite all the setbacks and failures and losses, there were a few people who were still there for me. If it weren’t for those people, I might have done something really stupid and/or violent this year. In particular, an old friend, Adrienne, always helped me out during the most trying of times, even before she knew what the hell was going on. Three times this year, she would send me something from out of the blue, right after some depressing event I was experiencing. And three times this year, I was feeling better because of a friend who lived two time zones away. Another friend, Aileen, also helped me out when I had no one else to call, and also helped play the role of a mentor for me when I was still looking for some sort of direction both in my career and my art.

Now these two friends are embarking on their own new directions in life, and I wish them the best of luck in whatever they do and wherever they go. But they also serve as inspirations for me to pick up the pieces and to keep going as well. I know it won’t be overnight, and things might get worse before they get better, but even if I do lose hope, I won’t lose my honor and my integrity, and that what keeps me going day in and day out.

To all those who are still listening, to those that still consider me a friend, I’m probably going into this next year a bit messed up. I’m still angry, anxious, and depressed, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. But that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped trying to fix that. I don’t intend to mess up anyone’s good times, but I do need a little patience and understanding as I get through all of this. And I am grateful for everyone who’s still been hanging with me through all this. In the end, I’m still good to go to be a wingman, should anyone ever need it.

So good luck and best wishes to this new year. Keep your spirits up and keep kickin’ ass. And as for the past year… Fuck 2010.

One last toast to you, Lolo. And Happy Birthday.

Every year for the past few years, I have made a custom Christmas card to be sent to friends and family. And every year, I’m always falling behind. However, I still intend to send them out by the end of this week (though much apologies to my overseas friends since it may take longer).

In any case, here’s just a preview of one of the sketches to be used for this year’s card (as well as a quick example of concept art).

And if you really do want to receive a card from me this year, then please contact me privately.

Two months ago, my grandfather died just before I was going to visit him in the hospital. Since then, our family has had the funeral, gathered for the 40th day Rosary, and have done our best to cope with our loss. His birthday would have been in nine days, and I had hoped to present a portrait I did of him as a gift for his birthday, or maybe even Christmas. Unfortunately, the portrait ended up being a memorial piece in his memory. It was shown in a local art gallery recently, and I have since taken it down, possibly to hang in my room or someplace here.

However, I do want to share it with you guys. It was really the only thing left I can do at that point. So in nine days, I’ll have one more toast in his honor. Peace out, Lolo. You still kick ass.

Last Saturday was a last minute impromptu outing with my dear good friend, and fellow artist, Aileen Holmes to a Society of Illustrators of Los Angeles event at Griffith Park. I had just come back from MMA practice (where a newbie accidentally put a knee to my nose) when I saw Aileen was looking for a carpool for the mixer. Having no real social life of my own and, thus, no real plans for Saturday, I decided to contact her and hook her up with a carpool. After the hell this month has been, I needed a reason to get out of the house.

Waking up early in the morning was not pleasant start to the day, but I got enough sleep the night before to pick up Aileen and to make the trek to Griffith Park. We were greeted by Society with coffee, Halloween-themed donuts from Krispy Kreme, and a place to sit down and begin work on sketching/drawing/painting/etc. A few people were already setup with their chairs and easels and paints. Others were getting their sketchbooks ready for both short and long studies. A model was already in pose against the backdrop of the park.

I myself brought out my sketchbook since this was a perfect opportunity to actually catch up on my “homework” for the life drawing class I am currently taking. I warmed up with a quick gesture drawing and then a longer quick sketch on the same page. I then did a longer drawing, using the model as the main focus and ignoring the park for the most part. I could have done better, but I don’t always perform at my best when I feel rushed when it comes to my art. I finished it off with a really quick 5-minute sketch using Aileen’s brush pens. But I had fun, and so did Aileen. Just look at her; doesn’t look happy?

We got to talk with several of the members present there, both in between breaks and at the end of session. Though I usually don’t get out in the park as much, this was a fun little excursion to break out of my humdrum existence back at home. Thanks again, Aileen, for having me along. And for those interested, below are the drawings that I sketched that morning. Not bad for having my alarm wake my sorry ass up at 6am in the morning.

I usually don’t talk about my family, mostly out of privacy concerns. However, there is someone that I do want to talk about. And that is my grandfather, or my “Lolo.”

Now my Lolo Fortunato is a pretty bad-ass dude. Born in the Philippines in 1923, he fought in WW2 as part of the Allied Forces, taking part in guerrilla warfare there. Though I never imagined him as much as a soldier, he was still a war hero, and even recognized as one up to this day. But he wasn’t just known as a Filipino Warrior. He was always a great family man, and a hard-working citizen.

He studied law sometime after the war, and settled down with a family until the 1970′s, when he moved his family to the United States from his native land, so that he could make a better life for them. He accomplished this goal, raising his five children with his wife, as well as being a warm patriarchal figure for his nine grandkids and one great-grandkid. My earliest memories of him are inspired with awe and wonder from a child’s perspective. There was a magic trick he always showed us, where he would make a coin disappear and reappear on the other side of his hand. I never could figure it out as a kid, until years later when I realized that he needed his special “magic cloth” for that trick. Another old memory was when he used to show me how he rolled up his own cigarettes with loose tobacco and papers. Though he would now condemn any use of tobacco products (a habit he regretted), that habit was what made me as a kid think he was a really big grown-up compared to all the other adults in the family.

Despite now being a family man, Lolo was never one to keep idle. He served his faith, family, and his community. He was a president and founding member of SAPIVETS, Samahang Pilipino Veterans, which serves as a fraternity for his fellow veterans. He was also a Fourth Degree Knight with the Knights of Columbus. He volunteered at a local special needs school within the Garden Grove Unified School District. Even more recently, he also served as one of the Grand Jury for the County of Orange.

Even with all of his accomplishments, my Lolo was always willing to continue to learn and grow. My first thoughts of him was as a gardener with the old stereotypical “Filipino Jungle” in the backyard, complete with several plants or crops, a bird house (no, when I mean bird house, I mean a real structure, a small shack really, that housed birds!), a couple ducks walking around, and even a rabbit or two. Now, I know him as that totally chill old dude mastering the latest office software on his computer. He would call me several times to help him with fixing his computer, or to help him with some of the applications he needed to use. There was more than one occasion that the family got him a computer, or a new all-in-one printer/scanner, or even the latest laptop, as a birthday or Christmas gift.

But he wasn’t all-work and no-play. He enjoyed many things, from fishing on the lake to (much to his wife’s chagrin) partaking in a little gambling here or there. He was not a compulsive gambler, but he enjoyed the action, from the small Bingo games with relatives to some of the trips out to the casino. Hell, it was this spirit of his that sometimes kept us guessing. Even at a family pool party, when it was just the kids making waves in the water, he was not to be outdone by these young ones, and so he made a few waves of his own. Even at over 80 years, he was still one of the “cool kids.”

Unfortunately, he has been feeling ill as of late. He has been going to the hospital more often over this past year, but he always kept strong through it all. Just last week, some of the family visited him at a senior home. I recall that he looked pretty weak and fragile. His breathing was labored, but his spirit was still strong. Still, I noticed several details: the sunken cheeks, the emancipated body, the curves of his rib cage under this gown, his gray bed-head. Some of you might have seen zombies in the movies or players in make-up, but that didn’t compare to what I saw. He really looked like he was close to death, but he was still moving. There was life to him yet, even if his body didn’t look like it. Even though I suspected the worse for most of the past year, everyone still thought he had some time left.

Earlier this week, he was taken back to the hospital. He had some complications again. Recalling how he looked on that Saturday night, I decided to make plans to visit him on one of my days off. Yesterday, I had planned to go to Westminster to pick up some art supplies, and then continue east to visit him at the Veterans Affair Medical Center in Long Beach. I know I would be busy so I wanted to take advantage to see him again, and possibly even do a couple sketches of him live. I woke up that morning, and took my time to eat breakfast, shower, and get on the road. I stopped by Orange Coast College to check out the job placement boards and possible work-study. After not finding much promise there, I continued to the Art Supply Warehouse to get some scratchboard tools. It was still early in the afternoon, so I thought I had a lot of time to visit my Lolo. I made it to the 8th floor where he was staying. After talking with someone at the nurses’ station (and having a chance meeting with an old high school classmate) to find which bed he was lying in, I made my way to his room just around the corner. I was hoping to surprise him with my visit.

But it was I who was surprised. When I got to the room with his bed, I unexpectedly saw my Mom come from behind one of curtains, and said that I “just missed him.”

Apparently, my Mom, along with my Lola (my grandmother) and my Aunt, were already here to visit. The staff tried to revive him, but he apparently died about thirty minutes to an hour before I arrived. When my Mom, my Lola, and my Aunt were taken to see the body, I was literally three steps behind, totally unaware they were even there, totally clueless of the attempt to revive him, and still optimistic to see and chat with my Lolo.

I missed him. I fuckin’ missed him. I was hoping to do a live sketch of him that afternoon, even just a quick one. Now, the only way I could make a drawing of him is through the old photographs we still have.

Yeah, this post ended up being longer than I thought, unlike the time I thought I would have to see my Lolo just one more time. Still, he lived a full life. I doubt he had many regrets, other than his smoking. And he did much with his time on earth. War Hero. Law Student. Family Man. Faithful Catholic. Caring Volunteer. Honorable Citizen. Swimsuit Model. Bad Mutha’Fucka’. Hell, if you ask me, Lolo Fortunato was definitely the Most Interesting Man in the World.

Now earlier today, class was cancelled so I had the whole afternoon to figure out what to do. Now with nothing to do, my mind wandered to getting something to eat. And what I really wanted was a cookie. Now this was not just a regular craving. This was very much a madd fiending for some of that cookie-cookie crunch action. Unfortunately, the Girl Scouts aren’t selling any of their wares locally at this time of year, so I can’t just steal their stash. And because I’m a cheap-ass bastard, I don’t have the cash to buy some cookies for myself. I really didn’t want to bother any of my friends and mooch off their cookies, particularly since I haven’t hooked them up from the last time I mooched off their beer.

But then, I had an epiphany, a revelation of sorts. I knew where I could score some cookies. Free cookies, in fact! However, there was a risk involved. There was a chance that I might get hurt, but damn, I wanted that %$#@! cookie! And I was ready to spill blood to get my cookie fix!

I walked right into the local American Red Cross. I demanded that they relinquish control of those tasty circular bits of sweet dough. They told me to read this handout first. That I did. They then told me to wait. So I did. Then they called me into a small room, where they interrogated me for minutes on end, demanding personal information, such as my name, birthdate, address, weight and height. They even subjected me to these most heinous torture devices, innocently called a sphygmomanometer and stethoscope, respectively. I could feel the pressure build up within my arm, but I resisted these torments. They even drew blood from the tip of one of my extremities, to test my worthiness. But my blood had run hot throughout my body. My desire for the cookie will not be denied!

After this preliminary session, they had then finished their preparations for the next demanding test. They would suck the very life force from my body. But I remained steadfast. I recalled all my training as a martial artist for that one tense moment. Unfortunately, none of that really mattered, because the sharp pointy steel still pierced my vulnerable skin. So instead, I just relied on my training as an illustration artist instead. That was a smart countermove; I draw as they draw blood. It was a superior tactic to alleviate the crushing boredom that held me bound in my seat.

But my patience has proved to be the key to victory. After they had exhausted their attempts to remove the very blood from my veins which allowed me to live to this very day, the Red Cross volunteers deferred to my awesome stamina and righteous spirit. Unable to keep me bound, they took back their instruments of doom and cut their losses for the day. I remained, and so was my constant desire for the cookie.

Even after this harrowing ordeal, no hard feelings were kept. The lady at the front desk was impressed, not only with my madd artist skillz, yo, but also with my willingness to give up a piece of myself, so that others may live. She asked me why I did this, why did I come to donate blood. I simply gave her one reason:

“I did it all for the cookie.”

Yeah, it has been about a month since my last post. And I know that I am late following up on the art show. I have been going through some weird business here and there and have been distracted from posting here. But I did say that I would post some more photos, so here it goes..

Now, there is a Facebook photo album with pictures from the Opening Reception. You should be able to view it here:
Drink & Draw Social Club OC Chapter Art Show

As for my own photos, there are a few that I did want to share with you here.

Here’s my friend and pseudo-mentor, Aileen Holmes, with one of her pieces from the show, a sketch of Strawberry Shortcake.

Here’s the staff of the ARTery Gallery, Tracey Taylor, the new director of the gallery, Gordon Dooley, the photographer for the night, and Phee, one of the assistants to the gallery.

As for what I submitted, I had taken pictures of actual scenes from our Drink & Draw events, and decided to render them in graphite pencils on bristol board. Here are some photos of them after the show.

Drink & Draw: Erin and Evan
This was actually bought at the show, so now I guess you could say that I’ve gone pro as an artist!

Drink & Draw: Aileen
Yes, here is Aileen again, caught with her chip in mid-air. I was having fun with the camera, not intending that they would be used as inspiration for the art show later. But I think I did capture her playful and whimsical side, which isn’t all too difficult with Aileen.

Drink & Draw: Drinkin’ Teo
And here, Aileen turns the tables on me and captures me in mid-quaff of my beer. I got to say, I should have seen her coming.